Drivers Everywhere But on the Road

One winds up on the train tracks, another on a front lawn.

Each week, Patch takes a peek at some of the surprising, shocking and occasionally silly police-related incidents reported throughout New Jersey for "OMGs from NJ PDs." On the Wrong Track: Contrary to popular belief, there is no "wrong side of the tracks." Well, not unless you count the top side. A driver who made a wrong turn wound up on the train tracks paralleling Route 17, leading authorities to shut down New Jersey Transit traffic on the line, according to Hasbrouck Heights Police. It took police about an hour to remove the vehicle from the tracks. We're not sure how long it took onlookers to remove their palms from their faces. Not Quite a Smoking Gun, But Close: You think smoking's bad for you? It's even worse if you're trying to …

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Horse at McDonald's, Bad Guy in the Sky

Also, someone made off with a whole lot of cooking oil. Slick.

Each week, Patch takes a peek at some of the surprising, shocking, stunning and occasionally silly police-related incidents reported throughout New Jersey for "OMGs from NJ PDs." Big Wheels Keep on Turning: A runaway van veered into oncoming traffic on the White Horse Pike, crashed against a guard rail and nearly struck a small gathering of people at the edge of Newton Lake in Camden County (our title for this section would have worked better if it was a river onto which the van was almost rollin'). Amazingly, no one was hurt, but police say an intoxicated driver may have been asleep at the wheel. At Least it Wasn't a Cow: Scotch Plains Police say a horse escaped from Watchung Stables. After a brief chase, he was cornered by Scotch Plains …

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A Juice Box Thief, Some Tricky Texting

Also, Kinnelon police deal with a real pisser.

Each week, Patch takes a peek at some of the more surprising, shocking, stunning and sometimes silly police-related incidents reported throughout New Jersey for "OMGs from NJ PDs." Some of this week's reports: From the Mouths of Babes: It's bad enough when someone breaks into a school. But Belleville police say someone not only did that—the perp stole an American flag and a bunch of kids' juice boxes. One has to wonder how much Hi-C even goes for on the black market. Not anything watered down. The good stuff. You Say Potato: Things Not To Do: Touch yourself inappropriately in public. Make unsolicited sexual remarks to people. Urinate on yourself. Do much worse than urinating on yourself. The alternate title for this list: Instructions a …

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Leg on Fire, Fence Full of Bullet Holes

Also, one woman shows us an even worse way to get a DWI charge

Each week, Patch takes a peek at some of the surprising, shocking, stunning and occasionally silly police-related incidents reported throughout New Jersey for "OMGs from NJ PDs." Some of the recent reports: Into the Lion's Den: Driving under the influence is generally a bad idea. Driving under the influence in front of an officer? An even worse idea. And driving under the influence to a whole building of them? Well, we can't say that one's on our to-do list. Yet Kinnelon police say a Pompton Plains woman did just that, when she showed up intoxicated to pick up a police report—then, presumably, became the subject of another one. I'll Be Back: Well, he didn't lie, per say. Toms River police say a resident of a Red Roof Inn told the manager …

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Stealing Real Dough, Theft by the Book

Also, a copier or scanner allegedly nets Newark man $165K — for a while.

Each week, Patch takes a peek at the surprising, shocking, stunning and occasionally silly police-related incidents reported throughout New Jersey for "OMGs from NJ PDs." Some of the recent reports: Book 'Em: A former Richard Stockton College of New Jersey employee has been charged with stealing more than $300 worth of textbooks from a student's backpack and then selling them back to the college bookstore. Maybe we can classify this one under intellectual property theft. D'ough! Lots of criminals steal dough. But usually, not the literal kind. Bistro 1051 of Clark had seen its morning bread delivery go missing twice, so the owner installed security cameras, and caught a man swiping a $75 bag of bread from the front of his restaurant again …

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OMGs, From NJ PDs

Out of the Shower, Into Confrontation with a Burglar

Also, cops say a woman was selling drugs out of an 86-year-old's home

Each week, Patch takes a peek at some of the more surprising, shocking, stunning and occasionally silly police-related incidents reported throughout New Jersey for "OMGs from NJ PDs." Some of the recent reports: You Don't Tug on Superman's Cape, Installment No. 98321B: Here's the OMG Criminal Mastermind Tip of the Week: Don't commit crimes. Tip No. 2: If you do commit a crime, don't get arrested. Tip No. 3: If you do get arrested, try not to make it worse for yourself by giving the cops a hard time. Tip No. 4: If you do give the cops a hard time, expect to find yourself in the OMGs. Belleville cops told us about one driver they say went right to Tip No. 4. They say he caught their attention because smoke was billowing out of his car. When …

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A Misguided Spider-Man, A Misdirected Jeep

Also, Wayne man has had better days.

Each week, Patch takes a peek at some of the most surprising, shocking, stunning and occasionally silly police-related incidents reported throughout New Jersey for "OMGs from NJ PDs." Some of the recent reports: Climbing the Walls: It's no secret that people get a little rowdy during some of the state's large St. Patrick's Day celebrations. But the Hoboken LepreCon earns some special recognition for one police report of a man climbing the wall of a building, apparently thinking he was Spider-Man. Over the course of the day, police made 18 arrests, including of one person allegedly so drunk that when asked to recite the alphabet, he made it as far as "A ... T ... A." We're still going over our fact-checking, but we believe that may not, …

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OMGs, From NJ PDs

Dude Might Have Looked Like a Lady

Also, don't ask a hotel clerk to take care of your needles, OK?

Each week, Patch takes a peek at some of the more surprising, shocking, stunning and occasionally silly police-related incidents reported throughout New Jersey for "OMGs from NJ PDs." Some of the reports from this week: What Goes Around: A good hotel won't have any problem holding onto valuables for you—maybe you need a safe place to store your keys, or your jewelry, or something else you hold near and dear. But when one customer asked a Sleep Inn in Cinnaminson to hold onto a hypodermic needle, things seemed a bit off, police said. The man was charged with drug possession and paraphernalia possession—and then just hours later, was back on the PD's radar. Police say when he tried to get away after allegedly causing a disturbance at the …

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Bestiality, Psychic Fraud & a Fake Cop

Does NY out-OMG NJ?

Each week, Patch takes a peek at some of the more surprising, shocking, stunning and occasionally silly police-related incidents reported throughout New Jersey for "OMGs from NJ PDs." Well, most weeks. Truth is, this week's been kind of slow. So we're peering over the New York border and borrowing some news from our friends at Patch sites serving the Hudson Valley—which just happen to run their own OMG-like column, "Unusual Suspects." If you thought Jersey could get wacky, read for some dispatches from our friends across the river. How Beastly: It's hard to get a lot of information about an alleged Feb. 9 burglary in Rye, as a judge has sealed records. But one of the details has leaked out: the case somehow involves reports of bestiality. …

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Closet Criminals, TV on the Brain

Well, actually, just TV upside the head.

Each week, Patch takes a peek at some of the more surprising, shocking, stunning and occasionally silly police-related incidents reported throughout New Jersey for "OMGs from NJ PDs." Closet Criminals: They say if you've done nothing wrong, you have no reason to hide ... really badly. Tell that to the eventual arrestees reportedly found under a pile of clothing trying to evade police, or sneaking into a closet while burglarizing a home after the residents start investigating. Police in Barnegat and Toms River say they ran into those two scenerios, as the Shore-area criminal element has, apparently, been taking cues from R. Kelly and/or 7-year-olds playing hide-and-seek everywhere. Cinderella Story: Haddonfield police didn't have a report …

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